Obituary template: what to include and how to write one

A short note before you start

This guide is general information for the United States, not legal, tax, financial or medical advice. There is no single "correct" obituary format, and no government agency regulates the wording. The rules below come from how newspapers, funeral homes and consumer-protection agencies actually treat obituaries, plus practical advice on keeping the family safe from identity theft.

What an obituary is, and what it is not

An obituary is a written announcement of a death, usually a few paragraphs to a page long, that tells the story of a person's life for family, friends and the community. A death notice is a shorter, plainer cousin: just the facts, often a few lines, and usually cheaper to run because papers frequently charge by length.

Neither one is a legal document. The paperwork that actually has legal weight after a death, letters testamentary, the death certificate, the will, is separate and is covered in the executor checklist. During probate, many states require the executor to publish a different document: a formal notice to creditors or notice of petition, which gives creditors and heirs formal warning. That notice is required by state law; a personal obituary is not⁶. Two examples show how differently states handle it: Washington requires the personal representative to "cause the notice to be published once each week for three successive weeks in a legal newspaper in the county in which the estate is being administered"⁵, while California's courts tell petitioners "you must arrange for notice to be published in a newspaper of general circulation in the city where the person who died lived," and that "the newspaper will charge a fee for this, which you can get reimbursed for from the estate later"⁷. Because the exact form, timing and newspaper requirements vary by state, check your state court's probate self-help page or ask the estate's attorney rather than relying on a national rule.

Obituary template: the standard structure

Most obituaries, in newspapers or online, follow the same basic order. Use this as a fill-in-the-blank starting point, then trim or expand to fit the person.

1. Opening line: [Full name], [age], of [city, state], died [day of week], [date], [at home / in a hospital / in hospice care, optional].
2. Birth and family origin: Born [date] in [city, state] to [parents' names], [he/she/they] [grew up in / later moved to] ...
3. Life highlights: education, career, military service, faith community, volunteer work, hobbies, and one or two specific, personal details that sound like the person, not a resume line.
4. Survived by: spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, siblings, close family, using the names and relationships the family wants public.
5. Preceded in death by: parents, spouse, children or siblings who died earlier, if the family wants this included.
6. Service information: date, time and place of a visitation, funeral, memorial or celebration of life, or a note that services are private.
7. In lieu of flowers: where to send memorial donations, or that flowers are welcome.
8. Closing: a short line about how the family wants the person remembered.

AARP's guide frames the goal well: "an obituary doesn't need to be about how someone died but about how someone lived"³. Treat the template as a skeleton, not a script, once you have the required facts down.

Step-by-step: how to write an obituary

1. Confirm the basic facts first: full legal name, any name the person actually used, age, city of residence, and the date and place of death. Get these from the death certificate once it is available so spellings and dates match official records.
2. Call two or three relatives or close friends and ask for one specific memory or detail each. AARP's guide credits this kind of detail, a favorite hobby, a nickname, a collection, with making an obituary memorable rather than generic³.
3. Draft the facts in the order above, then weave in the personal details.
4. Decide what to leave out for safety (see the next section) before anyone reads a draft aloud or posts it anywhere.
5. Share the draft with close family for corrections. Misspelled names and wrong dates are the most common complaint about published obituaries.
6. Ask the funeral home or the newspaper directly what the obituary will cost, whether they charge by the line, word or space, and what fee, if any, is added when the funeral home places the order for you¹.
7. Submit to the newspaper by its deadline, and consider free or low-cost outlets too: the funeral home's own website, the person's college or employer newsletter, a faith community bulletin, or a personal social media post.
8. Save a copy of the final published text and the outlets it ran in in your records; you will need the link again for tasks like Facebook memorialization⁸ and closing other accounts, covered in the digital legacy checklist.

What to leave out, and why

Obituaries are public, permanent, and searchable, which makes them a resource for identity thieves as well as for family and friends. Experian warns that scammers commit "ghosting," using details from an obituary to open accounts, file fraudulent tax returns or claim benefits in a deceased person's name, and that common obituary details, birthplace, mother's maiden name, schools attended, are also common bank security-question answers⁴. Experian's own suggestion is to be selective: "Consider only using the first names of relatives, for instance. Or mention their military service but not their regiment number or other details"⁴.

A practical version of that advice:

• Skip the full birth date. A birth year, or age alone, is usually enough.
• Skip the exact home address, even "survived by, of [street]."
• Skip the mother's maiden name and detailed birthplace (hospital, exact address).
• Use first names only for young grandchildren or minors, if you name them at all.
• Describe a career in general terms rather than naming a current employer and title in detail; scammers and imposters posing as insurance agents or benefits officials have used obituary details to target grieving families.
• Never list a Social Security number, account numbers or a full mailing address for sending cards or gifts; use a general "in care of" line instead.

What an obituary costs, and who pays

There is no single national price. The FTC's Funeral Rule classifies an obituary notice as a "cash advance item," the same category as flowers or clergy honoraria: something a funeral home buys from a third party, the newspaper, on your behalf¹. A funeral home can pass through its own cost or add a service fee, but "the Funeral Rule requires those who charge an extra fee to disclose that fact in writing, although it doesn't require them to specify the amount of their markup"¹. It must also give you an itemized statement, with a good-faith estimate for any cost not yet known¹.

In practice, the price depends on the newspaper: some charge by the line or word, some by the column inch, and some run short death notices for free. Ask the obituary or classified desk directly, in writing if you want the price locked in.

What to record in a family guide

Once the obituary is written and placed, the useful record for the family is not the grief of writing it again, it is knowing where everything ended up. This is the kind of information a family guide keeps in one place: the final obituary text, which outlets ran it and on what dates, any photo used and where the original file is, whether a Facebook or other social account was memorialized and with what proof, and whether the person left instructions or a draft of their own obituary in a letter of instruction. If you are the one being planned for, note where you keep a photo you like and any biographical notes in your own family guide, so whoever writes it later is not starting from nothing.

Common mistakes

• Publishing too much personal data. Full birth dates, mother's maiden names and home addresses help identity thieves more than they help mourners⁴.
• Missing or wrong names and dates. Double-check spellings against the death certificate.
• Leaving someone out. Omitting a spouse, ex-spouse, or estranged child by accident can cause lasting hurt; when in doubt, ask the immediate family.
• Assuming one price applies everywhere. Pricing units (line, word, column inch) are set by each paper, not by a national rate¹.
• Writing it alone at the last minute. A rushed, single-author draft misses details a quick round of family calls would catch.
• Forgetting the free options. Community bulletins, alumni or employer newsletters, and the funeral home's own website can carry a longer version at no cost.
• Not saving the final version. Family later needs the exact text and link for credit bureau notifications, VA claims, or memorializing social accounts.

When to get professional help

Most families can write an obituary themselves using the template above. Consider a professional obituary writer, often available through the funeral home, when the person had a long or complicated career that needs careful, accurate description, when the family cannot agree on content or tone, when the obituary needs translation, or when grief makes it hard to write anything at all. A probate attorney, not an obituary writer, is the right resource if you are unsure whether your state requires a formal notice to creditors, since that is a legal filing with real deadlines, unlike a personal obituary⁶.