Funeral planning checklist: decisions, costs and what to write down

A short note before you start

This checklist is general information for people in the United States, not legal or financial advice. Funeral and cemetery rules and prepaid-plan protections are set partly by federal law and partly by each state, so confirm details with your state funeral board, your local Funeral Consumers Alliance affiliate, or an attorney before signing a contract.

Two situations, one checklist

Planning ahead for yourself

You are deciding what you want, learning what it costs, and writing it down where your family will find it. The FTC's advice: "Put your preferences in writing, give copies to family members and your attorney, and keep a copy in a handy place. Don't designate your preferences in your will, because a will often is not found or read until after the funeral" (FTC, checked 2026-09-17). The Funeral Consumers Alliance says planning ahead brings "Significant cost savings, quite possibly cutting funeral costs by half" (FCA, checked 2026-09-17).

Arranging a funeral this week

Before making any decision, look for a written wishes document, a prepaid contract, a cemetery deed, or the wishes section of a family guide. AARP's checklist: "Talk with a surviving spouse or review the paperwork to determine whether there was a prepaid burial plan" (AARP, updated May 7, 2026, checked 2026-09-17). If nothing is written down, work through the decisions table below with one or two family members.

Your rights under the FTC Funeral Rule

The Funeral Rule is a federal regulation enforced by the Federal Trade Commission and applies to every funeral provider in the country. Among the rights the FTC lists (FTC, The FTC Funeral Rule, checked 2026-09-17):

• "Get price information on the telephone." No visit or personal details required.
• "Get a written, itemized price list when you visit a funeral home." This is the General Price List, yours to keep.
• "See a written casket price list before you see the actual caskets," and a separate outer burial container price list.
• "Receive a written statement after you decide what you want, and before you pay."
• "Buy only the funeral arrangements you want." No packages. The one fee a funeral home can make non-declinable is the basic services fee, "the only non-declinable fee allowed for services, facilities, or unallocated overhead" (FTC, Complying with the Funeral Rule, checked 2026-09-17).
• "Provide the funeral home with a casket or urn you buy elsewhere," with no handling fee.
• "Use an 'alternative container' instead of a casket for cremation."
• "Make funeral arrangements without embalming." A public viewing after several days is the usual case where a funeral home will ask for it.

The rule does not yet require prices online; a 2022 FTC review of that question is still open (Federal Register, checked 2026-09-17).

Burial, cremation, green burial or body donation

Conventional burial

The 2023 NFDA median for a funeral with viewing and burial was $8,300. That is the funeral home's part only, from the basic services fee through the metal casket, viewing, ceremony and hearse; it excludes the plot, opening and closing, and a marker. The same study put the median vault at $1,695, for $9,995 with a vault (NFDA, December 8, 2023 release, checked 2026-09-17). No state law requires a vault, but many cemeteries do as policy; ask first.

Cremation

The 2023 NFDA median for a funeral with viewing and cremation was $6,280, including the cremation fee, an alternative container and an urn (NFDA, checked 2026-09-17). Direct cremation, with no viewing or ceremony at the funeral home, is the lowest-cost line on most price lists, and a memorial can be held anywhere, later.

Green burial

The Green Burial Council defines it as an approach that "prioritizes placing the body directly in the Earth, forgoing embalming, and using biodegradable materials." Its FAQ notes "There is no law requiring embalming for viewing or requiring a vault for burial," and that "Costs for green burial can be less, the same, or more than conventional options, depending on the merchandise and services chosen" (Green Burial Council, checked 2026-09-17). NFDA's 2025 survey found 61.4% of consumers interested in green options, up from 55.7% in 2021 (NFDA, checked 2026-09-17). Write down the specific cemetery; not every conventional cemetery allows it.

Whole-body donation

Donation to medical education or research is usually free to the family. Science Care, a large for-profit program, says that once accepted it "is a no-cost option that includes transportation, cremation, the return of cremated remains and filing of the death certificate," but "Registration in the Science Care program does not guarantee acceptance" (Science Care, checked 2026-09-17). Bodies can be declined at the time of death, so every donor plan needs a written backup, usually direct cremation.

Paying for it

Pre-need contracts and prepaid plans

A pre-need contract is a purchase from one funeral home, paid now and delivered later. The FTC suggests asking: "What happens to the money you've prepaid?", "Are you protected if the firm you dealt with goes out of business?", "Can you cancel the contract and get a full refund if you change your mind?" and "What happens if you move to a different area or die while away from home?" (FTC, checked 2026-09-17). The FCA warns: "If you cancel, move or change your plan, you may not receive a full refund," and "Money spent today may not cover future funeral costs" (FCA, checked 2026-09-17). If you prepay, keep the itemized contract, confirm the money is held in trust or insurance in your name, and give a copy to the person who will make the call.

A payable-on-death account instead

The FCA's preferred alternative is a bank account payable on death to the person who will handle arrangements: "You deposit in a bank enough money to cover the current price of a funeral, then let the accumulated interest cover any cost increase" (FCA, checked 2026-09-17). The money stays yours, is insured, moves with you, and passes without probate. One drawback: Medicaid counts it as an asset, unlike an irrevocable prepaid contract.

Veterans' benefits

Eligible veterans, and usually spouses and dependent children, can be buried in a VA national cemetery with "a gravesite in any VA national cemetery with available space, opening and closing of the grave, perpetual care, a government headstone, marker, or medallion, Presidential Memorial Certificates, and a burial flag all at no cost to the family" (VA NCA, checked 2026-09-17). For private burials the VA pays burial and plot allowances; for qualifying non-service-connected deaths on or after October 1, 2025 each is $1,002, more for service-connected deaths, and non-service-connected claims must be filed within 2 years of burial (VA, checked 2026-09-17).

Social Security and other help

The $255 lump-sum death payment goes to a spouse who lived with the person or, if none, an eligible child, claimed within 2 years (SSA, checked 2026-09-17). The funeral home usually reports the death, but AARP notes "ultimately, it's the survivors' responsibility to ensure the SSA is informed" (AARP, checked 2026-09-17).

What to decide and write down

Disposition and the service

Burial, cremation, green burial or donation, with the backup if donation is declined. Cemetery or place for ashes, and any plot already owned. Viewing or not, open or closed casket, embalming yes or no. Funeral, memorial, graveside only, or no service. Religious or secular, and the officiant. The venue.

People, music and words

Who speaks and who should not have to. Pallbearers. Three to five pieces of music, with the versions you mean. Readings or prayers. Flowers or donations, and to whom. Dress, photographs to display, anything to be buried or cremated with you.

The obituary information sheet

Full legal name and other names used; date and place of birth; parents' names; schools and degrees; military branch and years; career in two sentences; marriages with dates; children, grandchildren and siblings with spellings; memberships, faith community, awards; causes you cared about; where the family should announce the service; the photograph to use and where it is stored.

Where the paperwork is

The will, any prepaid contract or cemetery deed, the DD-214, life insurance policies, the Social Security number, and the people to call with numbers. The wishes section of a family guide, such as the one Omliva helps families build, holds everything on this page in one printed and digital place.

Decisions table

Who to notify

Day one: the funeral home or donation program, immediate family, the person's faith leader, the employer. First week: Social Security (confirm the funeral home did it), life insurers, the pension plan, the bank, the landlord or HOA. After that the executor handles estate notifications; see the executor checklist. Order certified death certificates through the funeral home. AARP suggests "Get up to 10 or more copies of the death certificate" since most institutions keep the one you send (AARP, checked 2026-09-17). Extra copies come from the state or county vital records office listed in the CDC's "Where to Write for Vital Records" directory (CDC, checked 2026-09-17).

The week of a death, step by step

1. Confirm the death has been pronounced and who is taking the body.
2. Find the wishes document, prepaid contract, cemetery deed or donation registration before calling about arrangements.
3. If the person was a registered body donor, call the program first; it handles transport and timing.
4. Call two or three funeral homes for prices by phone.
5. Visit one, take the General Price List, and choose line by line. Decline what you do not want.
6. Decide on embalming and viewing; refrigeration works if the service is within a few days.
7. Get the written itemized statement before paying and check it against the price list.
8. Order 10 or more certified death certificates.
9. Give the funeral director the Social Security number, and confirm later the death was reported.
10. Write the obituary from the information sheet and choose the photograph.
11. Book the venue, officiant and musicians; for a veteran, the National Cemetery Scheduling Office is 800-535-1117 (VA, checked 2026-09-17).
12. Settle who pays and from where, and keep every receipt for the estate, the VA and SSA.

When to get professional help

Most funerals need no lawyer. Contact your state funeral board or attorney general, or file an FTC complaint, if a funeral home refuses to give prices, charges for a casket you supplied, or embalms without permission. Get advice before signing a prepaid contract larger than you could afford to lose, and before spending down assets for Medicaid, where irrevocable funeral trusts have specific rules. If the family disagrees about disposition, every state has a law ranking who decides; a probate attorney can tell you the order in one call.