What my family needs to know: the complete list, organized by role and timeline

A short note before you start

This guide is general information for the United States, not legal, tax, financial or medical advice. Confirm state-specific details, like probate thresholds or safe deposit box access, with your state court's self-help site or an attorney.

Why "what my family needs to know" is bigger than a will

A will tells a court who gets what. It does not tell your spouse which bank you use, your executor where the life insurance policy is, or your children what you want done with your body. The National Institute on Aging groups these missing pieces into personal records, financial and legal documents, and medical wishes, recommending they stay together in one place¹.

This gap between knowing and doing is well documented: roughly two-thirds of people say sharing their funeral wishes matters, but only about one in five actually have¹⁸.

Many people organize this into a letter of instruction, a plain-language document listing this information for whoever finds it first. Our how to write a letter of instruction guide has a template to start from.

Who needs what: spouse, executor and children

A spouse usually has the most existing access but still needs a written list, since grief makes details hard to recall. An out-of-state adult child may have almost none of that access and needs the list spelled out.

The first week: what your family needs immediately

1. Emergency contacts: closest family, your doctor, employer, and anyone who depends on you (a minor child, a pet, someone in your care). Medical ID on an iPhone or emergency information on an Android phone puts these contacts and key medical details on the lock screen, visible to first responders without a passcode⁸,¹². A written pet care plan tells whoever steps in what a dependent pet needs.
2. Your medical wishes if alive but unable to communicate: your living will, your health care proxy's name and phone number, and whether you are an organ donor. Organ donor registration is legally binding under the Uniform Anatomical Gift Act; a family cannot override it once active¹³.
3. Funeral or burial preferences and whether anything is prepaid. Only about one in five people leave this in writing, forcing grieving families to guess¹⁸.
4. The location of your will and any trust documents, and who you named as executor.
5. Immediate cash access: which account pays the mortgage or rent and covers everyday bills. Joint accounts usually stay usable; accounts solely in your name may freeze once the bank learns of the death¹⁴.
6. Where your Social Security number and certified death certificates will come from. The funeral home typically orders these and reports the death to Social Security⁵.
7. Who to call at your workplace, and whether you carry group life insurance or a pension through it.

The first month: what your family needs to settle in

1. A full list of financial accounts: checking, savings, retirement, brokerage, and which are individual versus joint or payable-on-death.
2. Insurance policies: life, health, home, auto and long-term care, with policy numbers and insurer contacts. A lost policy can be tracked down through the free NAIC Life Insurance Policy Locator⁶.
3. Property records: deeds, vehicle titles, mortgage or loan statements, and any storage units or safe deposit boxes.
4. Digital accounts: email, banking logins, phone, cloud photo storage, social media and any password manager. Do not write the passwords; note where the password manager is and who has the master key, or set up a legacy tool.
5. Employer and government benefits: unused pay, group life insurance, pension survivor benefits, and the Social Security lump-sum payment, limited to a spouse who lived with the person and filed within two years⁴.
6. Recurring bills and subscriptions that need to be paid, paused or canceled.
7. Contact information for your accountant, financial advisor and attorney, if you have them.
8. Credit protection: no one can freeze a deceased person's credit file, but a spouse, executor or other authorized person can ask one credit reporting agency to flag the file as belonging to someone who has died, making it harder for a scammer to open new accounts in their name; that agency then notifies the other two¹⁷. Our credit freeze after death guide covers what to send and to whom.

The first year: what your family needs to close things out

1. Full inventory of assets and debts for the executor to report to probate court, if required. Rules vary by state; check your state court's self-help pages.
2. Tax records: several years of returns, and what the executor needs to file a final return and, if the estate earns income, an estate return.
3. Retitling instructions: what should happen to the house, vehicles and other titled property.
4. A resolution of digital accounts: closed, memorialized or transferred, per our digital legacy checklist.
5. Final accounting and closing of the estate by the executor, per our executor checklist.

The eight categories of information every family needs

1. People to contact

Immediate family, closest friends, your doctor, employer, attorney and financial advisor, and anyone who depends on you day to day.

2. Identity documents

Birth certificate, Social Security card, marriage or divorce papers, military discharge papers (DD-214) if you served, and passport.

3. Legal documents

Will, trust documents, power of attorney, health care proxy and living will. Both end at death; only a court-appointed executor can act after that¹.

4. Money and property

Bank and investment accounts, retirement accounts, real estate deeds, vehicle titles, and any business ownership papers. Retirement, life insurance and payable-on-death accounts pass to whoever is named as beneficiary, not necessarily whoever the will names¹⁵, so check these designations on their own. Our beneficiary designations checklist walks through how.

5. Insurance

Life, health, home, auto, disability and long-term care policies, with policy numbers and how to file a claim.

6. Digital life

A list of your important online accounts (not the passwords), where your password manager is, and whether you have a legacy contact set. Apple's Legacy Contact lets a trusted person request access to photos, messages, notes and device backups with an access key and a death certificate, though purchased media and iCloud Keychain stay inaccessible⁸. Google's Inactive Account Manager lets you name up to 10 trusted contacts and choose what each can receive if your account goes inactive¹¹. Most states have also adopted the Revised Uniform Fiduciary Access to Digital Assets Act, letting an executor request access in order: the company's tool first, then your will or power of attorney, then a default rule⁷. Our Apple Legacy Contact and Google Inactive Account Manager guide covers setup step by step.

7. Medical and end-of-life wishes

Your living will, your named health care proxy, and your organ donation decision. An advance directive is legally recognized but not always binding in situations it did not anticipate¹, so discuss it with whoever you name. Our living will and advance health care directive guide covers how to put one in place.

8. Funeral and burial wishes

Burial or cremation preference, service preferences, and whether anything is prepaid. Write it down even if you never discuss it aloud.

Where this information usually lives

Scattering this information across a house, an attorney's office and a handful of accounts is normal, and it is why families spend weeks reconstructing what one page could tell them. For choosing a physical location for the originals, see our where to keep important documents guide. Some families gather it all into one household binder or an "in case I die" binder; our household binder and in case I die binder guides cover what belongs in each section. This is the kind of information a family guide keeps in one place, current as accounts and wishes change. Your guide walks through each category in short, guided sessions.

Printable "what my family needs to know" checklist

• Emergency contacts (family, doctor, employer, anyone depending on you)

• Will and trust documents located; executor named

• Health care proxy and living will identified; copies given to proxy

• Organ donor decision recorded

• Funeral and burial wishes written down; note if anything is prepaid

• Full list of financial accounts (checking, savings, retirement, brokerage)

• Insurance policies listed with policy numbers (life, health, home, auto, long-term care)

• Property records located (deeds, titles, mortgage statements)

• Safe deposit box location and authorized signer noted

• Digital account list created (not passwords); password manager location noted

• Apple Legacy Contact or Google Inactive Account Manager set up, if applicable

• Employer and pension contacts noted, including group life insurance

• Attorney, accountant and financial advisor contacts listed

• Recurring bills and subscriptions listed

• Recent tax returns located

• Plan noted for flagging credit files as deceased when the time comes

• List reviewed and updated in the past year

When to get professional help

Talk to an estate attorney if you do not yet have a will, health care proxy or power of attorney, or if your family situation is complicated (blended family, minor children, a business, property in more than one state). Talk to a financial advisor or accountant if your accounts, retirement plans or estate tax exposure are too complex for a simple list. For everyone else, this is something you can gather yourself over a few sessions; the harder part is usually starting.